The Laments of a Young Emperor
by Niji Erhime
Summary: There's a lot of things they don't warn you about being Emperor. Nobody ever mentioned the distinct lack of privacy. Cao Pi/Zhen Ji Lemon Warning.


**The Laments of a Young Emperor**

Zhen Ji had stormed into his tent, her movements agitated even if her face remained clear of any emotion. Cao Pi, she claimed, had been "distant " and "stand-offish" since the campaign began. As both were words most of the officers in their service would call either of the royal couple on any given day, that didn't give Zhang He much to go on. Luckily he was an expert at reading between the lines. Keeping up with the current topics of interest in the camp helped too. Not gossip, of course. It was only gossip in the royal court. Or if you were caught.

Usually he would mind his own business, especially in regards to the private life of the young Emperor of Wei. Zhen Ji, however, had requested his assistance, and they had known each other a long time. A very long time. Three lords, two husbands, and countless battlefields between them. Which was how he'd ended up standing outside the command tent, listening to Cao Pi curse at someone for interrupting whatever he'd been doing. A part of him was tempted to turn around and wait for a better time. Except he had a feeling there wasn't going to be a better time. Truly, the things he did in the name of friendship surprised even himself on occasion.

The scribe scurried backwards out of the tent, bowing and offering apologies. It would have been comical, if he hadn't been about to enter the tent himself.

The scribe spotted him, and quickly approached. "Our emperor is not in good spirits, general. I truly recommend waiting to see him if you can."

"Hm. It would be prudent." He admitted. The scribe nodded his agreement. "However, I do not have that luxury. So I will have to dare our lord's temper."

"You're a brave man, general." The scribe sounded awed.

Personally, he was pretty sure he was about to do something very stupid, but he wasn't going to disillusion the man. "Well, wish me luck."

"General, if by chance the Emperor should mention what he ate for the morning meal..."

Zhang He paused to look back at the scribe. "What he ate...?"

"Yes. If he mentions it. Please, tell me."

"Certainly..." More confused than ever, Zhang He entered the tent.

"I told you to take your record-keeping and-" Cao Pi whirled angrily to face him, but cut off when he saw his face. "Zhang He."

"My Emperor." He swept a bow, hoping to appease whatever had the younger man so infuriated by stroking his ego. It had a tendency to work, provided it wasn't overdone. Apparently, it had already been overdone that morning, because Cao Pi's face instantly pinched further.

"You've known me how long, Zhang He? There's no court in attendance here." He turned back to a map of the battlefield that was spread on the table.

"Court or not, it is still your title. I was under the impression your mood dictated caution."

"Only if your a sniveling archivist here to record some stupid tiny detail like what I ate for breakfast, or how many hours I slept last night!" Cao Pi slammed his hand down on the table in a rare show of fury for the collected youth.

"They take such details down?"

"They take everything down. And I mean everything." Cao Pi gave up on studying the map, and collapsed down into one of the chairs.

Suddenly the pieces seemed to be coming together, at least somewhat. "I hadn't realized there was such a lack of privacy."

"There is no privacy. They follow you everywhere. I can't breath without one of them making a note!" He pulled off the Emperor's crown and tossed it onto the table in irritation. "I think I've discovered why Father never took the position. It's annoying!"

Zhang He dared to pick up the crown, toying with the tassels on it, before placing it on his head. "How do you see anything through this?"

"What is there to look at when wearing it?" Cao Pi countered.

"I don't care for it very much myself. Want it back?" Taking it off, he offered it to the now sullen lord.

"I don't want it at all right now." Cao Pi ignored the crown and glowered at the table.

"...I spoke with Zhen Ji yesterday..."

"And? She's been moody."

"She said you've been distant."

"And that's the other thing they record..."

"Your conversations?"

"When I have sex."

For a moment Zhang He wasn't certain he'd heard him right. "They record-"

"When I have sex." Cao Pi repeated, then continued, his tone growing more agitated as he spoke. "With whom. Where. And how many times I have been with them. Don't they have other things to worry about?"

"I can see how that might be a tad-"

"Annoying? Aggravating? Intrusive?" Cao Pi offered.

"Couldn't you just order them to mind their own business?"

"Believe me, I have tried on numerous occasions."

"The things they don't tell you about being Emperor..."

"Apparently one should consult the archivist about such things."

"So it would appear." Zhang He hesitated, debating how to broach the topic he had a hunch was at the core of this particular problem. "So you and Zhen Ji haven't..." He trailed off when Cao Pi turned to glower at him.

"No."

"Ah."

"If we're in the city, the damn scribes record when I have sex with my wife. Out here, everyone in the encampment would know if I had sex with my wife. Just once, I'd like to have sex with my wife and nobody know about it."

Considering both their current temperaments, everyone in the encampment would certainly be guessing he wasn't. Zhang He rather liked his head where it was was, however, so he had no intention of saying so. "You could always leave the encampment."

"Under what premise?"

"There's a battle soon. There's plenty of reconnaissance to do."

Cao Pi paused. "Reconnaissance..."

Zhang He distinctly did not pat himself on the back. Not physically anyway.

* * *

They'd lost their erstwhile bodyguards within ten minutes of leaving the encampment. Unfortunately, he'd lost track of his wife five minutes after that. Under ordinary circumstances, he wouldn't be overly concerned on where she'd taken herself off to - if he didn't trust her to fend for herself he would never take her to the battle field to begin with. However, this wasn't supposed to be a battle, and the truth was he didn't really care about the reconnaissance they were supposed to be doing. His purpose for taking Zhen Ji, and escaping their bodyguards, was to finally have some private time with her. He couldn't exactly do that if she wasn't present.

Cursing his luck, historians, archivists, and his court in general, he gave up on any thought of finding Zhen Ji before she wanted to be found, and headed in the direction of the enemy encampment. Hopefully some enemy patrol would stumble across him, and he'd have a convenient scapegoat for his frustrations. It was not the way he'd been hoping to alleviate his frustrations, but it would do.

* * *

Several enemy patrols later, his mood was not improving and he stopped to take his breath. Around him the forest seemed mostly quiet. The rustle of a light wind through the trees, the faint notes of bird song in the distance. A smirk curved his lips as the tree branches above him danced again, amused as the pieces fell into place. Zhen Ji slid slowly down from her perch a moment later, eyes dark in the shadows of the woods. It took a moment for the noises of the forest to resume, and neither moved or spoke in that time.

Then Zhen Ji lay a hand to his chest and applied slight pressure. He followed her lead, backing up against the large tree she'd been hiding in. "I've already assessed the enemy camp."

"That was uncalled for."

"I'm not going to lie around and do nothing." For a moment they only faced each other, her hand on his chest the only touch, but smug smiles dancing across both their lips. Zhen Ji leaned in until their lips were almost touching, until they were breathing each other's air "That is what you prefer, isn't it?"

"Heh." He gazed at her, waiting, taking time to drink in her beauty for the first time in a long time. The glow of her skin, the excitement of the battle and their closeness bringing color to her cheeks, and the sheen of her dark hair. Her eyes burrowed into his a moment before she pressed her mouth to his own. Both their eyes slid close as they fell into that kiss, drowning in it. She traced his lips with her tongue, and he stole it into his mouth, sucking on it. Zhen Ji moaned, hand sliding up his chest to his shoulder. He caught her arms before she stepped in, keeping distance between them even as he released her tongue and traced his lips up her jaw.

Her breath caught, but she retaliated by sliding her hand back down, nails scratching over fabric in a teasing caress. When her hand cupped his groin, he grunted in both pleasure and surprise, and could feel her smile by the way her jaw moved under his lips. Releasing one arm, he slid his hand across her chest, fingers needing into it's softness, thumb flicking over her nipple through the fabric. A breathy moan came in response, and he barely resisted the urge to press against her.

Her hand started to move again, firmer now, against him. Rubbing knowingly as he rose against the fabric, hot against her hand. A slight growl escaped his lips, and his second hand slid down to return the favor, pulling fabric up and out of the way, sliding through openings to seize her own groin - fingers teasing her opening. Zhen Ji moaned again, louder and more needy. Her second hand joined her first, working on the ties to his pants so she could touch him as well. He hissed as cold air met his skin, but Zhen Ji's hands were on him then, and he couldn't stop his hips from jerking into her touch.

Their heads were merely resting against each other, centered on the bold movements of their hands, reveling in the moment. When his fingers slid inside of her, she pressed into them, wet and heated around his digits. He pressed harder and she gave a small cry, head falling back, hips jerking forward with need, much as his own were against her ministrations.

He pressed his face into her shoulder as their hands fell away, perfectly synchronized, as their bodies finally moved forward to press into each other. The feeling of her against him was exquisite. There were no other words for how perfectly they molded together. Clothing was pushed and pulled out of the way again to allow him to enter her. Her arms locked around his shoulders, and his around her waist as they shuddered together at the feeling. Then they were both moving and the small clearing was filled with the sound of their pants and bit back moans.

They were still in enemy territory, and if they made too much noise they could put themselves at risk. But the knowledge that they had to remain quiet was almost automatic. His thoughts were far from enemy soldiers and camps. All he could feel was Zhen Ji, against him, around him. Her skin under his lips, and her breath panting close to his ear, and it was perfection.

"Cao Pi." She moaned, and their pace grew near frantic, barely managing to remain on their feet - he could feel the bark of the tree against him and was glad for the fabric between him and it. A wandering thought through the haze of their pleasure.

"Zhen Ji." He hissed into her shoulder and he felt her tighten around him, shuddering. It was all he needed to let go himself.

They sunk down to the forest floor then, weak from spent desire and exertion. Zhen Ji's lips found his, once, twice. "Only us." She murmured, and he smiled against her lips before capturing them in another kiss.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Zhen Ji swept into the tent where some of the generals had gathered. Zhang He spotted her, and intended to give a wave or nod, but wasn't given a chance. Zhen Ji saw him, and a moment later he felt her lips press against his, before she pulled back, eyes glowing. He felt his eyebrows raise as he glanced up at her questioningly. Zhen Ji's smug smile told him his answer as she swept out of the tent as swiftly as she'd come.

Several of the generals looked at him in various stages of shock and envy before Xiahou Yuan managed to splutter out, "What was that about?"

"I have no idea." Zhang He lied, leaning back into his seat with a smug smile of his own.

_Erhime 2014_

* * *

_I have never taken so long to write a PWP. According to my file I started this in May of last year. OMG._

_Niji and I challenged each other to write couples the other had already done. I have struggled with these two. Don't expect another Cao Pi/Zhen Ji from me any time soon. I think my fav part of this is all knowing Zhang He._

_Oh! Part of this was inspired by a documentary I saw where they mentioned all these things the scribes wrote down about the Chinese emperors - including which concubines they slept with, and when, and one even mentioned something about how often one used the bathroom. I mean, geez, talk about no privacy. That was a big part of the inspiration as well._


End file.
